Titles
by Vaalco
Summary: Aedan Cousland has received many titles in his lifetime, each with more responsibility than the last. With the approaching arrival of his first born child, Aedan will now be bestowed a new title. One that that is perhaps the most meaningful of all: father.


Aedan Cousland was a man known by many titles: Lord Cousland, The Last of the Couslands, The Warden, Commander (however briefly he had been positioned in the role) and perhaps the most used-The Hero of Ferelden. Those who knew him personally and had traveled with him thankfully stuck to referring to him as Aedan, which was perhaps the title that he most preferred, although when it came to his brother Fergus he was sure that the title "Little Brother" would always be the chosen term used when it came to their interaction. Throughout the years, many titles had been bestowed upon Aedan Cousland, each holding more responsibility than the last. Now yet another title was about to be placed upon him, and this one brought with it perhaps the biggest responsibility he had yet faced: the title of Father.

Throughout his life, Aedan had seen many horrors, many of them had caused him to lose sleep even now when they came to haunt to his dreams. He had seen corpses rise from the dead to form an army large enough to threaten an entire village. He had ventured farther into the deep roads than even the bravest of dwarves and faced giant spiders and a brood mother that still made his skin crawl when the image came into his mind. He had encountered darkspawn, the Architect, faced the dragon form of Flemeth, defeated an Archdemon, faced an army of darkspawn and been subjected to various forms of torture when he had been held prisoner in Fort Drakon. He had seen his mother and father die at the hands of Arl Howe, watched as his best friend Ser Gilmore had been run through with a sword, watched his nephew take his last breath as he died in his arms. Aedan had been convinced that there was nothing left in this world that could scare him. He therefore found it ironic that he was now filled with so much terror by something that had not even come into the world yet.

The day Leliana was expected to give birth to their first child was rapidly approaching, each that past brought with it more fear and anticipation than Aedan had ever remembered experiencing before. He was quite adapt at _taking_ lives, having earned a reputation as one of the best swordsman in recent memory. G _iving_ life however, that was something else entirely. He had saved an entire kingdom, but he had failed at protecting his own family, and that thought truly terrified him. He had failed his mother and father by allowing them to stay behind, knowing that Arl Howe would show them no mercy. He failed his nephew when he had been unable to save him, he had only been able to watch as the life had left his eyes in an unspoken plea for Aedan to help him, a plea that had gone unanswered. He had failed Fergus, not only when he had failed to protect their parents, but also when Aedan had been unable to save his brother's wife and son. He had saved an entire kingdom, but he had failed where it truly counted. All of his accomplishments meant nothing if he could not protect those close to him. He he had even kept Leliana at arm's length when they had traveled during the blight, afraid that if he allowed himself to fall for her, she would be taken away from him and he would be powerless to save her. It had been Leliana who had persisted insisting that she was more than capable of taking care of herself, and that maybe he was the one who had needed saving. It was the first of many occasions that Leliana had proven to be right.

But Leliana was one thing, she was a skilled fighter in both mind and weapons. A child, _his_ child would be relying on him to protect them, to ensure their safety. And that was why Aedan Cousland was standing on the balcony of their quarters at this late hour. It was what was preventing him from resting and filled him with a bone chilling terror-that he would not be able to protect his own child.

The hour was late, the residents of the fortress of Skyhold having long since retired. The stars twinkled brightly against the pitch black back drop of the midnight sky, their brightness appearing as a metaphor-that light will always overcome darkness. Torches lined the battlements of the hold, an occasional shadow passing by as the night watch made their patrols along the walls. The distant howling of a wolf piercing the otherwise peaceful and serene quiet of the mountains. Aedan leaned against the railing, his brow furrowed in a way that meant he was deep in thought. So deep that he did not notice Leliana coming up behind him until she had wrapped her arms around him from behind him, placing a kiss on his bare shoulder.

All of his previous thoughts melted away momentarily as they always did when he was in her arms. He turned around and could not help the smile that spread over his face at the sight of her. Her red hair was slightly messy as it always was when she had just woken up. Her green eyes still held hints of sleep and the sleepy expression covering her still youthful face made his heart swell. Her thin nightgown hung low on her shoulders, and her stomach protruded as it grew to make room for their child. She was the most stunning thing that Aedan had ever seen, and even after so many years together he still felt his stomach drop whenever he saw her. He placed an affectionate kiss on her cheek, earning him one of her small giggles that drove him wild.

She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. "What troubles you my love?"

"Just enjoying the fresh air." He offered as an answer, knowing that she would not believe him.

Leliana gave a small noise of skepticism. "I have met many skilled liars in my travels, and even after so many years you still count yourself among them."

"You believed me when I told you I liked your cooking."

"Not as much as you believe me when I tell you that I find you funny."

Aedan laughed softly kissing the top of her head. She gently pulled away cupping his cheek and gazing into his eyes. "Please, Love. I have made a living of lies and deceit, and you know how I hate to bring my work into my private life."

"You also wield guilt better than any weapon."

Leliana shrugged. "The Maker blessed us all with a set of skills, it seems a waste not to use them."

Aedan knew that he would not win this verbal spar, and Leliana's temper was so short as of late he had no desire to push his luck this the banter would remain light.

"I was just thinking." He offered, hoping it would suffice as an answer. He should have known better.

"That much I was able to conclude for myself. The hour is late and we both desire to sleep, but I fear that neither of our wishes will be granted until you tell me what is preventing us from sleep in the first place."

Aedan sighed, trying to find the words to express exactly what is was he was feeling. "It's nothing. I just, the more I think of being a father, the more I find myself pitying my unborn child."

Leliana looked at him, her expression becoming serious. "I would hardly call that 'nothing.' Are you saying that you do not want to have a child?"

"No, not at all! It's just...when it comes to protecting my family, I am a failure. Despite whatever successes may be accredited to me, I failed when it most counted. This child will look to me to protect them, to keep them safe. When they grow and learn of the Couslands and what happened at Highever and hear of my inability to keep my family safe how will they place their trust in me? What will I tell them when they ask why I was able to save an entire kingdom, but could not save my own family? I pity this child for how the Maker chose as their father."

Leliana took his face in her hands, gently forcing him to look at her. "You are _not_ a failure. You say that you failed your family, but am I not also your family? I have never felt safer than when I am with you. How many times over the years have you saved my life? You protected me from Marjolaine, you took an arrow that was meant for me. You have protected me more than anyone ever has." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "There is no one in this world I would trust more to take this journey with. There is no one who could make me safer and more protected, and when our child grows they will feel the same protection and security. You may pity our child, but I envy them, for they will be born into this world knowing a love that I had to wait a lifetime for. A love that is kind and gentle and selfless, a love that has brought more protection that I have ever felt. Your love."

The baby child gave a small kick, as if hearing the conversation between their parents and desired to voice their opinion. Leliana smiled at the expression on Aedan's face. "See? It seems you are outnumbered on this one."

"It must be a girl." Aedan said feeling his heart swell with love for his wife and unborn child. He had long ago given up any hope of having a chance of having a family again, and while the idea still terrified him, he could face that fear head on if Leliana was there to face it with him. "How do you always know the right thing to say?"

"Years of practice." Leliana replied taking his hand in hers. "Come to bed my love, it eases my mind to have you near."

* * *

That night Aedan dreamed that he was back in Highever, walking through the gardens as he did when he was young. A soft spring breeze was blowing through the air, carrying with it the scent of lavender and jasmine. The sun was sinking low in the distance, turning the sky a brilliant shade of orange with a tint of pink. This was Aedan's favorite time of day, the time when the world began to slow down and the people of Ferelden laid down their burdens and day's work and began to relax and enjoy time with their families.

Aedan made his way down to his favorite spot in Highever, a secluded lake that only his family had access to. The undisturbed surface of the water was always a stunning shade of blue during the warmer months, and the surrounding trees made the place a picturesque place that Aedan always came to when he needed to be alone. A child's laughter filled his ears, laughter he had not heard in nearly eighteen years. His pace quickened as the sound got closer, and soon the lake came into view. He stopped in his tracks as he saw his family in the distance. All of them were there; his mother and father, Oren and Orianna, all of them. They were just as Aedan had remembered them, and Aedan felt his eyes well up. Oren spotted him and began running towards him.

"Uncle!"

Aedan dropped to his knees opening his arms wide and scooping the boy up in his arms, holding him tight. "Uncle!" Aedan did not even protest being called the title that normally made him cringe. "Uncle, where have you been? You promised you would teach me to use a sward!"

"Your uncle has been very busy Oren." Orianna said as the rest of his family came to join them. "He has been busy saving the world from monsters and befriending kings."

"More like _making_ kings." Eleanor Cousland said wrapping her arm around her husband's and beaming at Aedan. "It's so good to see you Darling."

"You have done us proud my son." Aedan closed his eyes at the sound of his father's approving tone. It cut into him more than any battle wound he had ever received.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you." Aedan's voice shook as he spoke, feeling the years of guilt and regret threaten to burst through the dam that carefully held these emotions in place for so many years.

Aedan held Oren close as he looked upon his family. Their eyes looked back and did not hold any accusations or loathing, they simply looked at him the same way they always had: with unconditional love.

"My son." Teryn Cousland said stepping towards him and placing a hand on his shoulder. "You have grown into a man I am proud to call my son, and you are a much wiser man than I. It's time for you to let go of the past, free yourself from this lifelong guilt. Your child needs you."

"We love you Darling." Eleanor added. "And for the Maker's sake please teach your child the manners that I failed so miserably to teach you and your brother."

Aedan gave a small laugh, feeling the weight of the last eighteen years lift from his shoulders at having found the absolution he had been longing for.

"It's not your fault, Uncle." Oren said hugging Aedan's neck.

"Go on Pup," His father said using the title from his childhood. "It's time to let go."

"Goodbye, Brother. Please, take care of Fergus." Orianna said. She turned and walked towards the lake, her retreating figure slowly fading away into thin air.

His mother kissed him on the cheek, smoothing his hair in the same way that she had when he was younger. He leaned into her touch rather than flinching away, grateful to feel his mother's touch one last time. "Be strong my darling, and give my love to your dear wife. And please tell her not to worry anymore, she already earned my approval a long time ago." Aedan watched as she walked towards to the lake and disappeared in the same way that Orianna had.

"The time will come when we will all be together again, Pup. We will always be your family, no matter how much time has passed. But now you have a family of your own, your time must be spent with them."

"I only hope I can be half the father that you are."

"Ah, my boy. Your child will be proud to call you father, almost as proud as I am to call you my son. Live well, and know that you do us proud. You always have." Bryce Cousland slowly disappeared, leaving Aedan alone with Oren.

"I have to go now, Uncle." He gave Aedan one final hug and Aedan reluctantly put him down. "When you come back, will you teach me to use a sward?"

Aedan fought to keep the tears from spilling over. "Yes, Oren. I promise."

Aedan woke with a start early the next morning, his arms wrapped around the still sleeping form of Leliana. He had tears streaming down his face which he wiped away on his pillow. It was not the first time he had dreamed of his family, but it was the first time he had not dreamed of their deaths. They had visited him to tell him to move on, to let go of his past with them so that he may have a future with the woman in his arms. He smiled as he looked upon his sleeping wife, making a mental note to take his family back to Highever to the lake that he had loved so much as a child.

He had made so many mistakes in his lifetime, and now he had the chance at the redemption that he had so long been looking for. He had finally found a title that he would hold above all others, one that he had sought for so long and and thought that he would never achieve.

He was forgiven.


End file.
